Thursday, August 18, 2011

Callings and Callings

Right now at church my calling (unpaid, part-time job) is on the Stake Activities Committee (wards are the local congregations, a stake is a group of wards). I’m the “Music Specialist”, serving under the “Cultural Arts Director”.

I pretty much got this calling because I started pushing for a big music production I wanted to have performed. It almost happened about a year and a half ago, but it’s finally coming to fruition this November.

Whenever we have a music-oriented activity comes up I’m really excited about it and try to get things going, but I always feel side-lined. I detest the hierarchy that is set up (as it is not clearly defined) and the fella that is the “chair” (as assigned by stake pres.) runs things completely contrary to how I am used to having things done and how I would like to see them done.  It seems disorganized, with the loudest voices getting listened to the most (literally).

Now that this production I’ve been working my tail off for is finally underway I feel totally side-lined. We have someone leading the choir and (odd, I know, but it works) someone else leading the orchestra. They are both very capable. I’ve tried to maintain a sense of “running things” by trying to hold on to being the contact point/producer, but honestly I feel like a pet. It’s ridiculous.

I keep getting a little anxiety whenever I think about the calling and/or the production now. I’m thinking about bailing and just being a player in the orchestra. I don’t really want to do that, though. I want to follow through and see this done well. I’ve just got to figure out how to re-focus the production when it’s so far underway. I was late to one of the key meetings and I think that our newest recruit for this gig got the idea that I was an extra limb – somewhat useful, but more of a novelty.

Gag, I hate undefined positions. I’m really a task-oriented person. This must be one of those “learning and growing” things that God gives us. ha.

Sounds like I’ve got some planning to do. Thanks for the listening ear, internets.

1 comment:

Carolyn said...

I am sorry that my comments offended you--really I am--I went back and reread them and then wrote cjane because I felt I had delivered them in a way that was not polite--I still stand by the substance, but I should have been more tactful. As I can tell from glancing at your blog, you are obviously a nice person. And I think we all are--just trying to do our best to live our convictions. SOmetimes we get too passion about it though and things come out rudely--I have never done something like that before and I really regret the rash words. Again, I'm sorry and hope you have a good day!